One Year Ago

My, Oh my...how time does fly. One year ago today, Richard and I made that life altering decision to open our hearts and home, and to become a forever family to children who needed one. I will never forget that morning when my beloved said it was time to adopt. I didn't know what to expect, and if I am completely honest was quite sceptical that he would follow through. Nothing against him, but we had been talking about this for so long...it was hard for me to believe it might actually happen. Oh but happen it did! What a blessing, what a joy, what an honor. I thought I would post a short over view of our process. Man did it go fast! Why on earth did time seem to drag on and on and on, while we were in the thick of it?

11/11 Decide to move forward with adoption.

11/15 Amy emails me Welcome Home's web site.

11/16 Contact Cathie, our social worker, to get the ball rolling on our home study.

11/27 Talk at length with Mandy on the phone. With out a doubt, and with no regrets, we decide to adopt from Welcome Home. Receive a list of children's names and ages to begin to pray over...as well as a price break down. Have my first thoughts of how we are going to pull this off.

12/3 Feel the Lord is calling us to adopt William and Marissa, we call Mandy and let her know.

12/8 Cathie comes for our home visit. What on earth was I so worried about? Didn't I know worry was sin?

12/27 Receive approved international home study in the mail.

12/28 Send off a two i600a applications to San Antonio USCIS office.

2/7 Fingerprints for i600a

3/2 We receive very discouraging news from USCIS. We wondering seriously if this is God stopping us.

3/12 Get everything straightened out with the courts in Kansas, and send off paperwork to USCIS. God pulls off a major miracle and moves hearts, like only He can.

4/9 Have screaming hysterical fit in the office with three children as we open a big manila envelope from USCIS. Approval to bring home two Ugandans!

5/15 Receive our court date. Begin preparing to leave for our children.

5/28 Board a plane for Africa.

6/2 Court

6/5 Judge grants us legal guardianship.

7/2 Arrive home and reunited as a family.

What a mighty, Awesome, and Loving God we serve. He has blessed me beyond compare. I still can't believe these kids are mine. It truly is an indescribable gift He has given us. We love them so very much. They bring abundant joy and laughter to our home. Not to mention they are darn cute. Really have you seen them?

Holding On

In Uganda, while at Welcome Home, I had some of the most heart rending experiences. I have never before felt so heartbroken, torn, and helpless. There we were, thrilled to have our children with us. Studying them, trying to memorize every detail about them. They were desperately wanting us to give all our attention and snuggles to only them. How could I focus on them alone, when we were surrounding with tiny little children longing to be held, to be loved on. The heartbreaking cry of children calling out "mommy" to me, with arms outstretched was more than I could bear. I wanted to hold them all. Tell them that I loved them. Tell them it was going to be all right. One little girl in particular has been burned into my mind. Her name is Amanda. This sweet precious baby, would wrap her legs around me as tight as she could, clinging to me. She would cry and scream if I tried to put her down. I didn't want to put her down. I didn't want to walk out of there and leave 50+ other children with out families. I wanted to make sure all of them had a real mommy and daddy they could cling to. I wanted them all to know a mommy and daddy loved them beyond anything they could ever imagine. I couldn't do any of that. All I could do, was peel a crying child off my body, place her on the ground, and with tears in my eyes, walk away. I prayed that day that this child would have a family soon. That there would be arms to hold her all day. Arms that would not have to put her down, and walk away in tears. I found out last week that prayer has been answered. She has a mommy and daddy working diligently to come and wrap their arms around her and never let go. Thank you Jesus for giving this child a family.

There are 143+ million children around this world that want a mommy and daddy to hold them. They cry alone, with no one to kiss their wounds. No one to cook their meals. No one to keep them safe. No one to take them to the doctor when they are sick. No one to encourage them. No one to laugh at their silliness. No one to help them succeed in school. No one to teach them to work. No one to teach them to about the goodness and greatness of God. They have no one to teach them what it means to be a part of a family. One day, some of these children, if they even survive to adulthood, will have families of their own. How will they parent children, when they themselves have never known the love and protection of a mother and father?

God has a perfect plan for these children. That plan is His Church. Oh, how I pray He ignites a fire within us for true religion. That these children might have what they so desperately need.

Field Trip

Sea World in San Antonio hosted home school day yesterday.

William has been watching this Jack Hannah video about Sea World, for some reason he loves it. When I read the email about the home school days and asked if they wanted to go William says, "Yes, I want to go and see the big fish." It is much to hard to resist that huge grin and Ugandan accent. Couple that with the $8 admission price, it was a done deal. We were not going to miss it.

I love taking William and Marissa to do new things. When your children come to you as babies, they grow up with all the fun things around them. They become the norm and the expected. Parks with huge slides, fast food places with big indoor playgrounds, swimming pools, even big tractors are not too exciting when you grow up around them. When you are three and four and experiencing them for the first time, it is exciting. It is even better to be the one blessed enough to be able to take a peek into that discovery. Yesterday I got to have that experience with all five of my children. We don't go to Sea World, costs too much money and there are FAR to many people. Watching Noah as he got to touch a dolphin, seeing them as the killer whales jumped and spun, hearing them giggle at the sea lions, hearing the excitement as they tell me about watching the shark eat. The whole day was filled with wonderful firsts for them all, what a blessing.

On a side note, there were signs all over the park that read "Happy 20th Birthday Sea World of San Antonio!" Um, I went to Sea World the first year it was open. My grandparents took me. They used to have this giant map of the USA on the ground. I remember taking a picture laying down in the State of Kansas, pointing to the city I lived in. I grew up in an extremely small town, so the fact that it was on the map at Sea World seemed incredibly cool to me...as an ELEVEN year old. TWENTY YEARS AGO, man I am getting old. Time really does fly.

I was able to take some really good pictures, so for your looking enjoyment, here they are.

Poison Dart frog...isn't he cute!

Lion Fish. I think it looks similar to old man wearing fake eyelashes.

Giant clam

Jelly fish, anyone else think they are cool to watch?

Watching the dolphins.

Noah petting a dolphin. I love dolphins, they always look so happy. I wanted to get in and swim with them. Richard said they might frown on that, he wouldn't let me :)

Christian Duty?

Very interesting video on adoption and christian duty here. Me too, I am a woman who is "Permanently and seriously disturbed." I pray we all would be.

Let's Talk About Money

Money and adoption, the two go hand and hand. Whenever someone asks me about our adoption, there is always a question about money. On a side note, this does not bother me. I find it to be great opportunity to talk about the faithfulness of God. While I don't feel the need to divulge exact figures, I do love to tell people about how big my God is. I love to tell others that when God calls you to something, He makes a way to bring it to pass. Anyway, I was just reminded of another event in our adoption that was a huge miracle, and I wanted to get it down, before I forget... again.

I will never forget the thoughts I had when I ended the phone conversation with Mandy, the one where we committed to adopting. Six months she said. Expect this process to take about six months. All I could think was "How are we ever going to come up with that much money in six months." We had no money. We were entering the slow season, and we didn't even have money saved for that. We had just spent every last bit to pay off our debt.

In the beginning, I was always scrambling for ideas to raise money. Neither Richard or I ever felt peace about it. It was hard to explain, and we even came up against opposition from a few people we love dearly. They would say to us, "If you want to fund raise, do it. It doesn't say in scripture that it is sin to fund raise." No doubt trying to encourage us, and for that I am thankful. Somehow we just knew that this was God's territory. We were to watch and pray. Fundraising was simply out of the question for us. I know this is a fabulous idea, and we are not against it, it was just clear it was not the way we were to go. Nevertheless, I still lacked faith.

Grants, then we must apply for grants. Nope, all those doors were shut as well. I wish I could say at this point that I was convinced of God's provision. I wasn't. In fact those first several weeks I was pretty much dumbfounded. This amount of money was almost what our yearly income had been averaging. It was beyond me how we were going to live and cover the expenses involved in bringing our children home. I don't know exactly when the peace that passes all understanding washed over me. I think it was little by little, but at some point I just knew, my Heavenly Father was going to pay for this. I need only trust Him. I did. We had several families that donated to our adoption fund, over those months. All in all it was just under six thousand dollars, that was given by friends. What a blessing. That was a huge sacrifice for them and we were and are so grateful. It is a fact to say that without that money, we would have come up short...about six thousand dollars. Isn't God good? So this brings me to the events that I really mean to write about in this post. I am so easily distracted :)

I was trusting God and hadn't worried about the money in months. We prayed for it, but had no worries. I probably had just patted myself on the back for my faith. Which is probably why the Lord had yet another lesson for me.

It was May, we had gotten the call we had been waiting for, our court date was to be June 2. We would leave on May 28. We had two weeks, and we were short a big chunk of money. I think it was about seven thousand dollars. No worries though, we had it coming. In fact I was expecting the check that Friday. I go to pick up the check and it is not there. I wish I could tell you that I was calm, cool , and collected. Trusting my Jesus. I wasn't. What I felt was complete panic. I had to have this money when I got on that plane in 11 days.

We had known for a couple of weeks that the company had split the area we worked in, and that we would now be under the Austin office. Details were nonexistent as to what that actually meant for the vendors. That Friday I found out it apparently meant we would not be getting paid. Naturally I call my beloved in a frenzied panic. Being the guy that he is, he told be to calm down. He was going to make some calls and find out what was going on. A short time later he calls to inform me that we will be receiving checks from Austin from now on. Oh, so our check is in Austin, I can rest easy. Nope. They would not be issuing checks until we all had new vendor numbers. They estimated that would take three weeks. Do I at this point thank the Lord for this wonderful test of faith? Nope, I cry. Lord only knows what I unleashed on my poor husband on the phone that day. Yet, steady as a rock, he tells me to calm down. He is going to go and talk to the new area manager. He tells me that "it just so happens" that his new office is at the subdivision five minutes from our house. He is in, and willing to meet with Richard, on Monday. Am I happy about this? No, Monday is too late. We will never be paid in time. I am still in a panic.

Now I must tell you, that this company that we were doing work for, had never been particularly willing to make anything happen that wasn't on their agenda. Ever.

Richard goes to meet with the guy. He" just happens" to be a believer. Richard tells him our story. He tells Richard his pastor just spent three weeks giving sermons on adoption. Richard tells him we have to have this money by Friday. The guys tells Richard, not only will we NOT have to wait three weeks to get what we already were owed, but that by Friday he would make sure we were paid on all the invoices we had just turned in. What, in four days??? Yep, in four days. It takes a minimum for fourteen days to get paid, and he is saying four days??? I wish I could tell you that I rested quietly in my Savior the next couple of days. Trusting that I would board a plane in eight days with that promised cash. I didn't. I worried a fretted the entire time. I wish I could tell you that when I picked up the envelope that Friday, four days before we left for Uganda, that I was confident it would be all we needed. I wasn't. I wish I could tell you I ripped open that envelope confidently expecting God to have moved. I didn't.

When we are faithless, He remains faithful. The check was all the supervisor had said it would be. We had all our adoption money. Not to mention the money to pay the bills for June and July. God had provided every dime. Once again, I had to repent for my lack of trust, in the One who is always perfect and right on time.

I don't know who is reading my blog. Blog patrol tells me there are quite a few of you. I don't know why you are reading. If you are reading and in the midst of your own adoption journey, wondering and worrying about finances. Rest easy in Jesus. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Trust Him. He called you to adopt, He will provide the needed money. If you are reading, and thinking about the possibility of adopting, but the costs make you want to run screaming in other direction. Don't. Yes, adoption is expensive. Every bit of money, will be replaced a thousand fold with joy. There is a way. You can do fundraisers, you can apply for grants, you can receive gifts from friends and your church. You can trust the Lord, who has place the idea of adoption on your heart, to provide. Yes, you can.

Gotcha Day

I am giving up on my dream of being able to post my gotcha day account with pictures or video. Still no camera from Uganda. Kaleb dutifully load the video on to my lap top, edited out the things I wanted out (like the really unflattering shot of my rear end...come to think of it I am not sure there could be a flattering one of those) , it was all done, nice and pretty. Then I managed to totally destroy our lap top...maybe beyond repair. By the way, when Windows Vista is loading upgrades, and it says DO NOT SHUT OFF COMPUTER UNTIL DOWNLOADING IS COMPLETE...they mean it. So with out further ado, our gotcha day. With out visuals.

As we pulled into Jinja, I remember wanting to take it all in. This is where my children have spent their entire lives. This has been their home. I am trying to see all I can, and we are all asking questions about the city and what we see. All of the sudden we are stopped in front of the home. I recognize the black gate with wood sign in the shape of Africa on it. I gasp, and try to catch my breath. This is it, this is what we have been waiting for, working for, praying for. I can feel my heart racing as I try to gain some sort of composure. "Am I ready for this?" I ask myself. The answer is both no and yes. I don't really have a choice, ready or not, it is time. We must have arrived at nap time or something. I am really not sure, but there were not any children anywhere to be seen. We were led into the front room and we take our seats, where we sit and wait for the children to be brought out to us. Little faces start peaking around the corner. Sweet little faces, they don't belong to us, but they are precious children. My heart aches for them. I momentarily have the thought "Why didn't we commit to three? The money was there, it wasn't that much more. Why not three?" Then before I can run with those thoughts, there they are. Ushered out and standing in front of me, two of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. They are real, not just flat images on a picture. Here they are, I can touch them, hold them, breathe them in. I am secretly praying that I don't cry. I don't want to cry. I keep thinking children associate crying with sadness and pain. Very few understand that when there is overwhelming joy, tears come. I don't want them to mistakenly think I am sad. I scoop them up onto my lap and hold them in my arms for the first time. I remember vividly holding all my children for the first time. Those memories are ones that I hope never fade. Holding William and Marissa was no exception. They may have been a bit bigger, and taken up more room in my lap, but they took up no less room in my heart.

As I sat there holding them, my heart was filled with such immense love. I thought, this is it, this is how the Lord loves me. He adopted me. I was an orphan. Clothed in the rags of my sin and shame. Hungry, because all I had feasted on was empty and dry. Alone, abandoned, forsaken. Sick with the parasite of sin. I was hurt by the world, mistrusting, and afraid. Yet there was my Jesus, willing to make a way. To cleanse me and restore me. To feed me, so that I might never hunger again. He has been there to love me and bear with me, even while I have suffered with reactive attachment disorder. One day yearning to be close to Him, never leaving His side. The next, pushing Him away away and fighting against the very love that bought my ransom. I received in that moment, a clear picture of my salvation, my adoption. When I became a child of the Most High. When my Daddy sent for me. One day I will be escorted home, into His loving arms.

We spent a while in the waiting area looking at books. Watching the video, you can see the terror in their eyes. They were so afraid, yet hopeful. We could tell they were happy to have us there, but very afraid of the unknown. At one point Marissa was sitting on my lap, and we were looking at the family scrapbook we had sent them. Another little boy (who was being adopted by another family at the same time) came over and started to look at it with us. She got mad and pushed his hand away. "NO! You mommy." She said, as she pointed to his mommy sitting across the room. William was showing the book to his friends. He would show them the book and say "See, my daddy and mommy" while pointing to us. This was terrible to watch. Out of insecurity, they wanted to make sure everyone knew, we were theirs, and they were not going to share. They did not want anyone else touching us or talking to us. As we stood on the play ground surrounded by children, my heart was torn into a million pieces. I will have to save that for another post.

They were not going to go home with us at this time. We would just be visiting them until Monday. Once we went to court they would come to stay with us. When it came time to leave, we were telling them bye, and William began to cling to Richard and cry hysterically. We told him over and over again, that we would be back in the morning. I hated leaving him. I hated that he thought we would leave him and not come back. When he calmed down, we gave them one more squeeze and left for the guest house.

That's it, that is the day William and Marissa were "born" into our family. In a way it was a lot like giving birth. Months of paperwork and preparation led us to this day. After two days of travel with little sleep I was exhausted. There was much pain in the journey. The joy of having them in our arms was unspeakable.

It Just So Happens...

Our pastor had a wonderful message for us from the book of Esther this past Sunday. I love the book of Esther. When I study this book I always see a wonderful picture of submission and service in her life. Honestly, rarely have I stopped to think about the way this story plays out, all the things that had to "fall" into place for the Jews to be saved. I have given that thought process just a small amount of my time, because obviously God was working His plan. This past Sunday our pastor did a wonderful job of really bringing out all the things that had to be in place in order for this plan to play out. He then left us with the encouragement to think about the way the Lord has lined things up in our own lives, to bring about His plan and ultimately bring Him glory. I have thought about this many times from the perspective of meeting my beloved, and all that "just so happened" to bring us together. This time with adoption on my mind, and our children home just two short months from Uganda, I began to think about all that took place to make them a part of our family.

It just so happens that six years ago we had no one in our lives speaking the truth to us. The truth of the blessings of children and God's sovereignty.

It just so happens that Richard had a vasectomy.

It just so happens that just a short time after that surgery the Lord began to work on our hearts about the blessings of children.

It just so happens that as a result we had a deep desire for more children in our home.

It just so happens that we had saved just enough money for a reversal with a new doctor in Oklahoma.

It just so happens that we felt led to join a new church.

It just so happens that this church had a man coming to speak about Uganda.

It just so happens that during that same time my beloved felt a very strong pull to go to Uganda, with this man and others from our church.

It just so happens that he will leave for this trip two months after his reversal.

It just so happens that I have the first of several miscarriages while he is in Uganda.

It just so happens that while in Uganda, he falls in love with Uganda and especially the children of Uganda.

It just so happens that one year passes, and it is June 2007. At a church picnic,our pastor says to my beloved "Richard, I think by this time next year you will be holding your own baby."

It just so happens that my beloved's reply to that was "I can hold two."

It just so happens that I believed that was a word form the Lord as it is so out of character for our pastor to say such things.

It just so happens that in October of that same year, I find myself pregnant again. To be due in June.

It just so happens that, the pregnancy ended in loss.

It just so happens that I completely lost it at this time. Questioning everything I believe about God and His faithfulness.

It just so happens that our dear friends FINALLY received their referral for a sweet little China doll.

It just so happens we were with them when that call came.

It just so happens at this time that my beloved's income suddenly triples. It is now three times higher than it has EVER been.

It just so happens that my beloved attends a men's conference. During which he is convinced that we should adopt. From Uganda.

IT just so happens that when he comes home I plan to tell him that this trying to have more children thing, is just too much for me. I plan to tell him that either it is time to seriously look at adoption, or give up.

It just so happens that the day I have decided to tell him this, is the same day he has decided to tell me he wants to adopt.

It just so happens I let him talk first.

It just so happens that I was floored when he told me the news, until he said Uganda.

It just so happens that I had already looked in to adopting from Uganda, and found that it was nearly impossible.

It just so happens that he was convinced that our children were in Uganda.

It just so happens that a good friend finds Welcome Ministries during a google search this same week.

It just so happens that they are in Uganda, and had been very successful at placing children.

It just so happens that we were given a list containing the names of children that were available for adoption to pray over.

It just so happens that we felt drawn to William and Marissa.

It just so happens that we gave this same list to several friends, and they too felt William and Marissa were the ones.

It just so happens that each time fees were due, the exact amount was in our bank account.

It just so happens that when we found out Richard's 15 year old DUI had not been cleared up like we thought it was, that I had kept the paper work, all these years to prove it was cleared. (If you know me at all, you know that this alone is a miracle of Biblical proportions)

It just so happens that the county attorney in Kansas had the right to force this back to court because the paperwork had not been filed, which he said he normally does.

It just so happens that he is a really nice guy and worked his tail off to provide paperwork saying this had been cleared 15 years ago not in 2008.

It just so happens that we have great friends, that I trust totally with my children, and that they were more than willing to watch them while we are in Uganda.

It just so happens that we were leaving in May, my beloved will have two children in his arms exactly one year since that word was spoken.

It just so happens that the first week in Uganda I have major PMS, culture shock, and various other emotional issues that cause me to have panic...lots of it.

It just so happens that Richard was in Uganda two years before and made some friends.

It just so happens that those friends have built a home for the purpose of housing missionaries.

It just so happens that they have room for us and our two new children. They willingly open there home to us.

It just so happens that this is exactly what I need to curb that panic that had over taken me.

I just so happens that everything about our adoption was going smoothly, especially as far as Africa is concerned.

It just so happens that what should have been the "easiest" part of this process is the most difficult and takes nearly two weeks.

It just so happens that this delays our going home a week.

It just so happens that I get Malaria.

It just so happens that if we had gone home when expected, I would have came down with this Malaria while here in the US. The costs of hospitalization here in the states would have been more than we could have ever covered. But, it just so happens, that in Uganda it was very affordable.

It just so happens, that in seven months the impossible adoption was completed.

It just so happens that one month after we get home with our children, we loose the contract that had tripled our income and paid for nearly all our adoption.

It just so happens that when we left Uganda I never wanted to go back.

It just so happens that God is the changer of hearts.

It just so happens that I long to go back to Uganda.

It just so happens that we serve an Amazing and Awesome God. He truly is sovereign over all things.

It just so happens that His word is true. Even in our suffering He is working out His plan, for His glory and our good.

It just so happens that I am His, chosen before the foundation of the world. Predestined for adoption.

It just so happens that William and Marissa were chosen before the foundation of the world, to be predestined for adoption...into our family.

It just so happens that what our Lord plans He brings to pass. In His time and His way, always for His glory.

It just so happens that I want to worship Him for His magnificent grace.

May He forever be praised.

Accosted At the Food Court

That title got your attention huh? Rest assured it is not what you think, just an over stimulating guilt producing experience in Uganda.

So here we are in beautiful Kampala Uganda, we have made our stop over at our lawyer's office and have taken care of business. We are tired, stinky, anxious, and hungry. So our faithful driver, William, takes us to Garden City for a bite to eat. Garden city is mall, like a real mall, in Kampala. I personally believe this place exists solely for tourists. It was so expensive, I couldn't even afford to shop there. Most of the people we saw there were either clearly foreigners or locals with foreigners. Although they did have two things going for them. A decent food court and an AWESOME coffee shop. This is where we spent many an afternoon, while waiting for someone to come pick us up and bring us back to the guest house. It would have been horrible, were it not for that coffee.

Anyway, so William takes up to the food court. This is a pretty spectacular place, with various choices of ethnic cuisine. Italian, Chinese, Indian, American....you got a hankering for food from your homeland, you can probably find it here. Not to mention is has a wonderful view. It is on the second floor, overlooking lush green grass and gorgeous trees. I am starved but hoping this isn't going to take too long, because I am beyond ready to get to Jinja. This would be my first experience in Uganda, teaching me that in Uganda, there is no such thing as something that doesn't take too long:) So we, being the Americans that we are proceed to walk up to the counter we want to order from. William quickly tells us to have a seat. All rightly then. We pick a table and have a seat. IMMEDIATELY we are accosted with waiters and menus from every restaurant in the place. All of them standing over us, pointing out the various and yummy fares on their menus. There they all stood over us, five or six people, waiting for us to decide what we wanted. Each of them trying to convince us to order from them. Now under normal circumstances I have a difficult time deciding what to eat. Under these it was nearly impossible. I knew what I wanted, but dare I say and send the others away with out an order? How could I? I didn't want them to think I thought their food was ant less appetizing. Should we order something from each of them...that would make it easier right? Finally I whispered to my faithful beloved "I want Chinese, order for me, I have to go pee." Whew, got out of that one by the skin of my teeth. This is how it was each time we ate there, but after that I was prepared. By the time we left Uganda, I was able to say to them "I will be having Chinese today."

Over an hour later we were full and on our way to Jinja. We asked how long it took to get from Kampala to Jinja. "It depends" was the reply we got. We soon found out it could take about an hour and a half, or well over three hours. This trip, in the afternoon when traffic was at it's worst...well over three hours. It seemed like an eternity. It didn't matter though, every mile brought us closer to meeting our children. I have never been so excited and panic stricken in my life. What on earth do you say to children, that are yours, that you have never met before? Do I hug and kiss them or will that over whelm them? If I cry will that freak them out? How on earth am I NOT going to cry? I did the only thing I could do, I prayed for grace.

Our Day at Court

It's official. On August 7, 2008 our Uganda darlings officially became ours. Of course I think they have been ours since we first told Mandy they were the ones. Then again if you ask my beloved, he will tell you that they have been ours from the foundation of the world(crazy Calvinists). We had a very fine afternoon in San Antonio. I must say that this was indeed a refreshing step in this process. Our lawyer, Jana Baker, was awesome. She brought snacks and toys for the children. You could tell she adores her job. If you live in Texas, within a four hour radius of San Antonio, I highly recommend her. The judge was wonderful. He was um... so much different than what we have been accustomed to. He said, "It is so good to create families, instead of tearing them apart for a change." We celebrated afterward at our favorite place, Chick-Fil-A. Yep, even Ugandans LOVE Chick-Fil-A. So with out further ado, some pictures for your looking enjoyment.




Me and my beloved. Man do I love this guy. Hear that honey? I love you, and I am not ashamed to tell the world. Thanks for traveling around the world with me to make these two a part of our family. Thank you for working so hard, so that we could afford to make them apart of our family. Thank you for being so patient with me. Thank you for being such a great father, and loving your children so wonderfully. I couldn't ask for a better man to lead us. (yeah, yeah, I know...you are just a rotten punk, totally depraved, all the good in you is the Lord's doing. I know, I thank Him too :)




Our little family, minus one. Hey, someone had to take the picture. Thanks Kaleb!






Noah, smothering our sweet princess with kisses. This is a common sight at our house. Someone is always getting kissed. This girl is a charmer, and she is so sweet and as stubborn as they come. Although she has finally met her match. Someone who can out wit her and out wait her. ME! She has made leaps and bounds since that first fit in Uganda. We simply told her "no" and she preceded to scream (a VERY high pitched scream) for 45 minutes. Then it happened again, in traffic. One could have easily gone mad :) She has been transformed in to a obedient (ok, most the time) little girl. She knows the rules, and wants to follow them. Although, like every other child under the sun, every once in a while she checks to see if they still stand. We haven't quite figured out a nick name for her yet. We have tried a few on for size, but none have stuck. She is a beauty, her smile lights up the room. I am excited to watch her turn into a young lady, who loves the Lord.




William looking quite smart, in his yellow shirt. Isn't he cute? Every time I look at him I break out in huge grin. I would spend my day squeezing him, if I didn't have so many pressing obligations (dishes, laundry, cooking, you know all that stuff called life). Hence he has received the nickname "Squishy". He is my squishy, and I love him...and I will squish him :)

Can Someone Help Me Understand?

I really need someone to help me understand. Math is not my strong suit, so maybe I am just way far off on this one. Here are the numbers:

Obama 267,545,993
McCain 109,829,375
Clinton 233,007,664
Romney 107,070,664
Guliani 58,627,422
Edwards 51,690,164
Paul 34,518,355
Thompson 23,448,481
Richardson 23,051,269
Huckabee 16,075,487

Total 1,192,455,867

Those are not just numbers people, they represent dollars. Lots of dollars. Over 1 billion of them. Add to those dollars the 55,773,004 dollars spent by lesser know presidential candidates and you have a grand total of $1,248,228,871.00. Here let me spell that out for you, lest you think I have misplace a comma. One billion two hundred forty-eight million two hundred twenty-eight thousand eight hundred and seventy one dollars. AND WE STILL DON"T HAVE A NEW PRESIDENT!!!! How many more millions are going to be spent during this election?

Or how about this one, can anybody help me out with this little number: $500,000,000.00
Five hundred million dollars. Guess where I found that pretty little number. That was the first week sales for a video game. A VIDEO GAME! A rather poor video game at that: Grand Theft Auto.

These are just two of the many examples I could list of the amount of money wasted. Wasted, yep that's right I said wasted. Why do I think it was wasted you ask? We have to have a president right? It is an election year after all. How about the video game (the horrifying nature of the game aside), really it's not like 10 people spent 500 million dollars on the game. A whole bunch of people spent a measly 50 bucks. What's the big deal?

How many starving Ethiopian families could this have fed?
How many people could have had clean drinking water? Not just for one day, but forever because they had a well in their village.
How many children could have survived malaria, because they were given $7 in medication.
How many people could have been spared malaria, because they had been given a $10 net that could save their life?
How many babies were born infected with HIV, who otherwise could have been healthy if their mothers had access to ARV drugs?
How many new orphans are there today, because mothers and fathers lacked medication? Clean water?
How many orphaned children could have families today, because the cost of their adoptions were paid for?

All for what? So we can elect a man to run this country, who will continue to spend and waste with out rearguard to humanity. So we can learn to steal, kill, and destroy. All the while being entertained, because it's just video game after all.


Jeremiah 22:15 & 16
"15 Does it make you a king to have more and
more cedar? Did not your father have food
and drink? He did what was right and just,
so all went well with him.
16 He defended the cause of the poor and needy,
and so all went well.
Is that not what it means to know me?"
declares the LORD

Lord, I cry with Habakkuk "In wrath remember mercy."

A Hair Raising Experience!

We had Marissa's hair braided the day before we left Uganda, and it was starting to look pretty ragged. Now those of you who know me well, know that I am hair inept. Really, have you seen my hair? How about Gracie's? Let's face it, I have no idea how to make hair look good. So why on earth God saw fit to give me a beautiful African daughter, I have no clue. Anyway, Noah and I set about the task of removing her yarn extensions from her hair. A little over a hour later, we were finished. My next task was to wash her hair up real good, and lavish it with a lovely conditioning treatment. Doesn't she look cute in her little plastic cap?






An hour or so later, and I decided it was time. I had to begin the work of learning how to do this hair thing. I am waiting for my shipment of snaps from Snapaholics, so I can't try braids just yet. I did, however, manage three very crooked puffs.






Good thing she's cute no matter how terrible her mommy is at hair.

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor...

So you may have noticed over on the left a list of blogs and web sites under the title "People Who Inspire Me." These truly are people who inspire me, all of them for differing reasons, but in some way they "spur me on to love and good works." Whether it is their commitment to the Truth, their perseverance under manifold trials, their love for the poor and the orphaned, or just the way they look at life: no doubt about it they all inspire me. So today as I was making my rounds I came across a post that in one sentence has convicted me to the core. It really was a wonderful post, so I'll let you read the whole thing, and then I fill you in on what has me so convicted. It is the post entitled

And Now A Word From Our Sponsor...

Now wasn't that an great post? So here is the part that really got to me:
There is one Scripture that keeps coming back to me from Proverbs, “Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so.” (Prov 3:27)
Just let that sink in for a moment, I mean really think about it, especially in the context of the blog post. I have to admit, I have been sitting here in my comfortable home, getting to know my two sweet new children, and falling more and more in love with them each day. Truly loving every minute of it. Yet in the back of my mind there is this constant thought "There, I am done, I have done it, I have adopted. I have given not one but two children a home, love, a family, a hope for a better future. Time for another family to step up and do the same." So there it is, isn't sin ugly? Honestly, that is what it is, sin. I can even give it a more specific name(s): Pride, Selfish Ambition, Complacency, Greed, Love of Self...I could go on and on.

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do so." Couple that with James 1:27 "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." It seems as though the God I serve deems it good to care for orphans, and I have once again allowed my thinking to be polluted by the world. Honestly, I am not in a position to bring another orphan into our home at this time. My husband is now unemployed after all :) However, this is not likely to always be the case. It will once again be within the power of our hand to open our home. Yet here I sit, with a proud heart, closed off to even the possibility of such an endeavor. What on earth is wrong with me? Have I not already been given exceedingly and abundantly more than I deserve? Is not this one who died for me, the one who became sin for me, who paid the price so that I could be adopted, worthy of all I have and all I am? Lord forgive me, and grant me the grace to die to self, so that I might live for you and your glory.

What's In A Name

Around our house we think names are important. We have tried to give our children names that have some good meaning to them. Not as good as my friend Tamarah, who has got naming her children down as an art. For instance her newest little one has been duly name Evia Mira (I am sure I butchered the spelling there) which means "My Father God Illuminates." How cool is that? Anyway... we have been thinking about William and Melissa's names for seven months now. Now keep in mind that William and Melissa are not names that we would have chosen (not that they are bad names, just not names we would have picked) so we have had a difficult time coming up with middle names for them. For William we have decided on William Seth.

Now Melissa is another story. In Uganda no one called her Melissa, everyone called her Marissa. We are pretty sure this was a language thing. For a lot of words they exchanged the L for an R. For example, while I was in the hospital the nurse kept asking me if I was "Catheric." It took me a few minutes to figure out that she was wanting to know if I was Catholic. Now please keep in mind that I am no linguist, so I could be wrong about this. At any rate, she still does not respond right away to Melissa, but will respond to Marissa. We have been wrestling with this for a few weeks now. We agreed not to change their names, something we agree with totally. So we have gone back and forth between calling her Melissa or Marissa. Truthfully, calling her Marissa just makes more sense to us, because that is what she is most used to. We are not used to it, after all we have been calling her Melissa since December, but she is. So officially she is now Marissa Elianna. Still not a name we would have chosen, but good nonetheless.

On that note, I am thinking my blog needs a new name too. This is no longer about bringing our two pearls home, but is about our life as a family of seven, seeking to serve and glorify our Savior. So, I am on the hunt for a new and meaningful name, for this oh so public journal. Any suggestions????

Home Two Weeks

We have been home from Uganda for two weeks today. Honestly, it feels like much longer. I am not sure why, it's not like things have been difficult. In fact things are going quite well. So well in fact, that I am hesitant to mention it for fear that as soon as I do, it will all fall apart. At any rate it seems like it has been forever since we left to come home. William and Melissa and fitting in to our family wonderfully. Everyday we can see progress. They are now both willing to at least try new foods. William is beginning to see that Piper (our chocolate lab) is a friend and not a foe. The older children are adjusting to their new roles, and loving having two little ones to dote over. I would say our biggest source of grief so far is between the girls. Grace has moved into the role of big sister amazingly well...maybe a little too well. Melissa very much wants to be the center of attention as she was used to in the home), and if anyone is getting individual time with mom or dad (and grandma and grandpa) she gets very jealous and butts right in. In the beginning Grace would just defer and give up her attention so that Melissa could have it. Melissa (the depraved little sinner) picked up on this right away, and proceeded to interrupt Grace's one on one time, every time. Melissa would vie for her food, her drinks, you name it. If Grace was getting it Melissa wanted it, and Grace would give it. This really began to take a toll on Grace, as she soon realized that she needs lovin' from mom and dad too. So as we told Grace, "No you stay, there is room for both of you." Our little "Queen of Uganda" was none to pleased to realize that her throne was to be shared. We are working though it and I think that in time they will soon be good friends. I think they both just need some reassurance, that there is plenty of love to go around, and maybe a bit more training on daily dying :)

It seems that I am finally feeling better...consistently. I am still not completely well, but I can a least make it through the day now. I went to the doctor last week to have sonogram of my liver, kidneys, and spleen. As well as blood work to make sure the malaria is gone and to check to see if I have some other infectious disease from Africa that may be causing my problems. I should find out in the next day or two.

On a slightly down note, we found out yesterday that Richard lost all his contracts with D.R. Horton. Seems as though the housing crash as finally hit San Antonio. They wanted us to continue to do the same work for 3/4 the price. Basically they wanted us to drop our price to $9.00 per lot. Um, it cost us twice that to do the work. So, we are trying to figure out what the Lord would have us to do now. It is a strange place to be in. In general there is a sense of peace, we know our God is good, and knows what is best. We had talked several times over the last 9 months about our income. We seemed to know that the Lord had given this contract for the purpose of bringing William and Melissa home. It began right before we made the decision to adopt. Provided for all our normal expenses, paid off all our debt, and funded $24,000 in adoption money. Now that we are all home, I don't think it should surprise me that it is over. God's hand is so evident it every step of this journey. We are confident that He has not abandoned us to care for these children on our own. He will show us the way, and we are confident that whatever it is, it will be good. How could it not be? Please pray that Richard would have the wisdom to know what he should do. Not just about income (but please do keep that in your prayers:), but if we should sell off our equipment or keep it. Do we close the business or just change direction? I am really struggling with the thought of Richard having to work ALL the time again. We have a vision for our family, one that we have been blessed to live out for a while now. None of us are ready to give up our time with him, we value it tremendously.

Once again I am reminded that my need of grace is never ending. Thankfully His supply is limitless, and He gives it abundantly. May the name of the Lord be praised, always.

Home

We are home, all is well, with the exception that malaria is still kicking my butt. I will post pictures and more later....when I don't feel like death. Willaim and Melissa are doing wonderful. Although we are having a bit of a dog problem. William is TERRIFIED of Piper, Melissa thinks he is cool. God is good...all the time.

Update

Hello from Uganda. I am just going to post a very quick run down of what has been happening, for those of you not on my email list.

We got here Friday, Richard had severely sprained his ankle just before we left. Two days on airplanes was not good for his foot. He is healing now. We also found out on Friday that we had been reassigned a new judge and that the judge we have was going on vacation for a month, starting Monday...the day we were to go to court. She agreed to come and handle our case. We prayed and the Lord was faithful, she came and heard our case. She told us to come back on Thursday for the ruling. We went back Thursday and she granted us custody of the children. She said she wanted to be done with us so she could enjoy here holiday, so she said she would give us both the ruling and order that day. BIG PRAISE, this NEVER happens. We did get the one, but not the other as they did not finish typing it. The lawyer is supposed to pick it up on Tuesday. Monday is a holiday, so we have to wait until then. Please pray it is finished and ready to go so that we can begin the Visa process. Passports have been started and we hope to pick them up on Tuesday as well. The children are wonderful, but very naughty. THEY ARE SPOILED ROTTEN. Melissa had a nickname at the home that explains it all...Queen. William is recovering from malaria, and is doing well. I am desperately home sick and miss my children. While Uganda is beautiful, it is just not home. We have left Jinja and are now staying in Kampala at pastor Patricks home. I think that catches everyone up on the adoption, I have more to tell but this is where we are at in bringing the kids home. Thank you all for your prayers, we need them.

Get Real

Even though our bags are packed and ready to be placed in the car, this just doesn't seem real. Even though I have our passports and plane tickets sitting by my side, this just doesn't seem real.
Even though everything on my four page "to do" list has been crossed off, this just doesn't seem real. Even though our bank account has been drained, this just doesn't seem real. Even though we have known this day was coming for months now, even though I have been praying for this day for years, I feel like any minute now I am going to wake up and this will have all been a dream. (Similar to the one I had two nights ago, when I dreamed I gave birth to a kangaroo.)

Am I really leaving for Africa today? Will I really be holding William and Melissa in my arms in less than 48 hours?

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." Psalm 126:3

The Lord has indeed done great things for us. First and foremost in our salvation. The fact that I am a child of The Most High, is humbling and breathtaking to me. If He had stopped blessing me there, it truly would have been enough. He has poured out mercy and grace upon our family in rich abundance. To think He is giving this opportunity of adoption as well is unimaginable. Less than seven months ago we had no idea where this would take us, and no way to carry it out. Just a small grain of faith, that our God was indeed big enough to do the impossible. He has. Of course He always has, and He always will, He is God. There have been so many steps of faith along the way, and He has granted both the faith and the grace to keep us moving forward. He has made straight our paths, and opened closed doors. He has provided us with a literal community of people praying for and supporting us.

To those of you (you know who you are:) I love dearly, and have stood by us for years now. Your prayers, coupled with the grace of God (what a mystery that is) is what brought us here. Your friendship, love, encouragement, and the way you always point me back to the Savior, mean the world to me. Thank you.

To my wonderful children, I love you so much. I thank God everyday that He chose to bless me with the three of you. Each of you, made in the image of God, formed to bring Him glory, placed in our lives to love and train. WOW! Thank you so much for the sacrifices you have made over the last 6 months. You have given much of your time so I could "paper chase" and research. You have given up material goods so that you could have a new brother and sister. I know this whole process has been just as crazy for all of you. Thank you for enduring with joy. I praise our Lord and Savior who has done, and will continue to do a great work in you. I see the evidences of Grace in all of your lives each day. I look forward to watching you grow in the love and faith, of Him who adopted you. It won't be long now, and all those prayers you have prayed for siblings, will be answered. Not just in pictures, but with two sweet smiling faces, ready to join your world. I know they are going to love, how could they not?

We leave at 8:00 tonight and will arrive in Uganda on Friday (Thursday night here) Please continue to be faithful in your prayers for us all.

• For safe travel
• For Kaleb, Noah, and Grace here at home
• For our court date June 2
• For quick and accurate court rulings
• For quick and accurate passports
• For a quick turn around of visas
• For favor with all the governing officials who will handle our case
• For the health of us as well as all the children
  
• For quick bonding between us
• Pray everything is done, so we can return as scheduled with William and Melissa
• Pray for those running our business while we are away

I will try and post updates as I can. If not I have a couple of guest bloggers, who will fill you in.
I'm outta here.

For real.

Due Date

After nearly six months I finally have a due date! We have a tentative court date of June 2nd, which will put us leaving on May 28th. This will be confirmed in a few days and then we will book our flights. We were told to specifically pray that there would be openings on the flight, especially the flight from London to Entebbe as these flights are usually booked solid. To say we are excited is an understatement, but the reality of all this is beginning to set in. I know the Lord has been preparing our hearts for this for a very long time, I hope He has been doing the same work in the children. I have so much to do to get prepared to leave. I have a long list that gets added to daily. We also have the added stress of leaving our business for someone else to run. I know that they are capable, but lets face it, they don't care as much about keeping it going as we do. We will also be leaving our children behind (with wonderful people who love them dearly) and this will be very difficult for us all. For our ten year anniversary Richard and I went on a five day cruise, day two we wanted our gang with us and missed them terribly. When Richard went to Uganda for three weeks a couple of years ago, it was hard for them, and I was still here. Please be praying for them to have peace. We still need about $5,000 too. Although this is really at the bottom of my list of concerns. The Lord did not bring us this far, to leave us short by so little. I know He will provide, this is His work and He will bring it to pass.

PS. Did I mention how excited we are??

Adoption News

Just received a wonderful email from Mandy. They are working for a court date in early June, she will let us know as soon as they have the date set. She really wants us to leave on a Wednesday to arrive on Friday, so that we can spend the weekend with the children, then to our first court appearance on Monday. She also wants us to fly with British Air. I am fairly certain this means we will have to leave from Houston. Which is a bit disappointing as I would prefer a one hour drive as opposed to a three hour...but we will do whatever it takes. I can't wait to get to Uganda. Richard has made it seem like such a heavenly place. We also got a couple of new photos of the children, they have grown so much, but they are still a cute as ever.
I could be holding my babies in just four short weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Um, I better get busy, I have A LOT to do to get prepared.

What Happens Next?

"What happens next?" I have been asked this question quite a bit over the last couple of days, so I thought I would fill everyone in. Now that we have our USCIS approval, a court date will be scheduled. I really have no idea when to expect this to happen. From what I understand we should have a court date sometime in the next four to eight weeks. Once we have the court date scheduled we will book our flights for travel, to arrive a few days before then. Then begins the craziness that is Uganda. We are taking an "expect the worst hope for the best" mentality with this. The one thing that we know to expect in Uganda is the unexpected. We will have to go to our court date, receive a verbal and written ruling from the judge. Then we will have to get the children's passports. Then finally their visas. This sounds so simple...but it really is not. We have been told our stay in Uganda will be about three weeks. I know of a couple of adoptions through Welcome Home, that happened last June, those families had to stay four weeks...so that is what we are planning for. One thing that we are so thankful for is the lawyer that Welcome Home uses. This makes all the difference in the world with the officials. This is the main reason that there tends to be fewer complications than some other families come up against. We are fully aware that may not be the case for us, but we are trusting God. We know that this is not about us, and that it is not even fully about William and Melissa joining our family. It is about our Lord and Him receiving glory. We pray that we will be willing vessels, to be used by Him, in a country and with a people we love so dearly. We are praying about what supplies to bring and are praying that the Lord will put us with people who need to hear the glorious gospel, and with His people, so that we might serve them in some way. We deeply need prayer in this area, that when there are delays with our adoption, we will remember that God's will cannot be thwarted. That what may seem like delays to us, is really our Sovereign Lord working out His perfect plan.

William and Melissa should be receiving the scrapbook of the family that we sent to them soon. Any day now they will find out that they have a family, that they have been chosen. We pray that one day they will understand that they were predestined for adoption, from the foundation of the world. That what the enemy meant for evil in their abandonment, the Lord meant for good. We pray also that they would recognize the great gift of Jesus, who made THE way for them to be adopted children of the Most High God.

For two years now we have been seeking the Lord's will with our longing and desire for Uganda. After Richard came home from his trip there, he was changed. His heart has never really been here in America, it has been longing to go back. (I am sure he never dreamed it would be for this reason that he would return again) The Lord has placed in Him such a love for the people of Uganda, especially the children. His love has spilled over on to me and our children. It is so hard to explain, but it is so very real. I can only imagine my heart changing all the more once I am in this beloved land of his. We are praying that during this trip, the Lord would reveal His will for us in this. That He would bring us together with the right people, and that He will guide our steps, that we might know what to do with this burning desire the Lord has placed with in us. We ask that you join us in this prayer.

There is of course the issue of finances. We are short a lot of money, but the Lord has been gracious (as He always is) and given us a great peace in this. We know that He will provide, we have no idea how, but we know that He will.