Sunday, February 22, 2009

Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I do not have a child, who for a week solid has complained of stomach aches ONLY AT BED TIME. If I had a child like this, they would never get out of bed smiling and laughing, tummy ache gone as soon as she was out of bed. Since I don't have a child like this, I would NEVER give said child a terrible tasting herb to "get rid of her belly ache." I would never suspect such antics to be only a ploy to get out of bed.

After I did not do the above mentioned act, the said child's siblings did not, in complete hysteria, nearly on the floor from laughter, tell me I was mean. They did not proceed to ask their sister if her belly still hurt, and if she needed some more medicine. Strangely, the medicine worked in record time. After only one minute her belly ache was completely cured, and a second dose was not needed.

After said child was in bed, my beloved did not ask, "Are you going to bottle and market a child's fake illness herb?" Seriously, he would know that there would be no market for such things.

While trying to write and edit a blog post this week, I did not in frustration let out a yell of complete frustration and anger. Truly, I think blogger is wonderful. Since I did not scream "Arrrrguh!!!" at the top of my lungs, my children could never, in unison, from the next room, yell ,"I HATE BLOGGER!" then collapse with laughter. Since I have NEVER lost my cool with blogger in the past, they would have no way of knowing what I was angry about.

I did not master the art of going to the bathroom standing up after a hour long session of body pump. After all, I am in such svelte physical condition that those 75+ squats had no effect on me whatsoever. So getting up and down from a sitting problem. Therefore going to the bathroom was no problem at all.

I did not just post on my blog that I can now pee standing up, that would be so embarrassing.

After writing the above sentence I did not immediately think of my friend Shara, and her bathroom problems. Even as she reads this she is blushing, thinking, "I can't believe she told the world I have bathroom problems!" So I DO feel the need to clarify, that her problems consist only of the fact that she actually goes to the bathroom. Very touchy subject it is. I still feel the need to get her the book Everybody Pees.

Ahh, laughter. I needed some...and now I feel better indeed.


S.L.P said...

I will not now have to deny all knowledge of any such "bathroom problems" and proclaim the world that, "yes world, I pee!"

BlogBaby said...

What a coincidence, I too can pee standing up! Yup, standing, sitting, laying down, this handy dandy diaper makes pee possible in any position.

I highly recommend them. ;)

Excellent Not Me list!

(Yup, a BABY writes this Blog, hence the name.....BlogBaby...clever, I know.)

Anonymous said...

Body Pump? Does this mean you switched over to that "other" gym? If you did, what do you think of it?

A couple of times in the past, I've tried doing the video, Buns of Steel, but after two days of not being able to get off of the toilet, because of all the stupid squats, I quit. So, if you continue on this insane regimen, please let me know EXACTLY how many days it takes to be able to pee normally again. Maybe I'll have incentive to do a bunch of squats and lunges again. But, until I know exactly how long I'd have to suffer this way, I think I'll just stick to what I'm doing.

PS, Shara pees? That is sooo shocking! I never knew she was that kind of girl!!!


Janet said... didn't do ANY of those things? Are you suuuure?

elizabethquiver said...

I've been reading several Not Me Monday entries and all of them have been quite clever. I'm wondering if I should try it myself!

You have a beautiful family!

Drop by my site sometime if you'd like, it's not blogger, so you'll need to copy paste my address.


Amy said...

Body Pump. Brutal. Did it last week and my triceps felt like elephants were hanging off them for the next 3 days.

Peeing standing up is a skill and one to be proud of for sure. Just think! Next time you go to UG you'll be able a pro at the squatty potty and peeing underneath your skirt on the side of the road....both very very important and noteworthy accomplishments.:)

Anonymous said...

omg. I told you so!