100 Days of Change

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or something else...

Have much to say...just trying to process it all in my sweet little head...it's a slow process :)

How About a Little Chuckle

or if you're me a full belly, sliding down off of my seat, snorting laugh.

I was eating dinner with my beloved tonight at a local place, when I felt the need to lament to him the fact that I am feeling very bloated and gassy.

His response...

"This too, shall pass."

He's so punny..that's why I love him.

Wordless Wednesday...Kind Of

Ahh, the Zoo in the spring. I never know if it will be a science lesson...or a health lesson.....

Tea Party Part 2

The Alamo, the top of it any way. The bottom was covered by people.






Glen Beck, filmed his show live. We were on TV, did you see us?

Old rocker dude, helped out. They tell me his name is Ted Nugent.

After Glen Beck's show was over, some local praise team gave us some rather LOUD entertainment, until the official tea party began.

Adam McManus. This guy is a local radio talk show host. He has a great show, always informing citizens how they can take a stand and get involved. He was the MC for the evenings events.

Janine Turner, I only know her for her role in Northern Exposer. I think she is beautiful. By the way, Janet, I see a resemblance between the two of you. Maybe it's the hair??? Except, I am sure she is normal, and drinks coffee in her really nice mug, never ever tea. She had her equally beautiful and passionate daughter with her.

This young man, eighteen years of age, gave some convincing arguments of the duties of a US citizen, as well as some sobering statistics on how many people are actually living up to those duties. He would do a far better job running this country that the last three or four guys have done.

A couple of fed up local mama's gave some speeches about the local government and the local concerns of San Antonio. Both did a fabulous job.

Doug Phillips from Vision Forum Ministries gave the final speech of the evening. If was God honoring and powerful. He did a great job reminding everyone that our God reigns, and we have an obligation to reign in our government. At the foundation of freedom is Christ. Thankfully, even if earthly tyranny prevails, we can have ultimate freedom in Christ. Always knowing that one day, He will bring Justice to the oppressor. Mr. Phillips speech was fantastic, it made me remember why America is where it is, and why we should fight to keep her free. He had a few choice words in there for the FEDs too. I think they were somewhere along the lines of, "COME AND GET IT."

Steve Vaus, closed the party up with his song Take America Back.

And some random pictures of San Antonio...

Signs, signs, Every Where There's Signs

Our family attended the San Antonio Tea Party yesterday. After I dutifully sent off our check to the Internal Robbing Revenue Service, we headed out, all five children in tow, to brave the crowds at the Alamo. As usual, the liberal media is practically ignoring this event. I swear the San Antonio Express News is one of the most liberal rags in this country, but I digress. We had a wonderfully long day. Police estimated that 16,000 people attended this event. A peaceful and encouraging event. Which one really should not expect from extremists, such as those who attended this event. One would have expected much more violence and anarchy out of such gun toting terrorists.

I will be breaking this day up into two separate posts. I took way too many pictures and have way too much to say, thus the need for two posts. The first will consist of my favorite signs. This was a peaceful demonstration, afforded us by our great constitution, that the leaders in this country seem to have forgotten about, again I digress. As a peaceful demonstration, many attendees had signs of various designs.

Some like these, made me laugh.

Some had simple messages. So simple in fact, that it seems that some of the "less extreme" among us can't seem to grasp the message.





Some were down right poignant. Like this one. Yes, it looks like a bloody mess (that's bloody as in BLOOD by the way, not a British derogatory term) but the symbolism behind it, all I can say is WOW! This is a flag tradtioanlly flown in Goliad, TX. If you don't know your Texas history, this one is worth looking up. At any rate, the idea behind the flag is that they would have rather cut off their arm, than suffer under tyranny. In other words, the men of Texas would rather sacrifice life and limb for the cause of freedom, rather than continue to suffer under an oppressive government.




Of course, there was my personal favorite. Not directed to our out of control government, spending my children's money like they are a five year old, in the dollar store with two bucks burning a hole in their pocket. No, directed instead to my least favorite people on the planet. Loved the sign, and if you don't get it, then clearly you didn't watch any news this week.

More to come on the speakers and message of the event...and some AWESOME pictures of San Antonio...as well as my sweet little, flag wavin', newly immigrated, American citizens.

Shoes

The Stinky River

Yesterday we had the brilliant idea to go to the park. Turns out it was not such a good idea, due to the fact that the entire population of Comal county was there, along with all their relatives from the surrounding counties. So we decided to go to a yucky and much less appealing lesser known location. The three younger ones wanted to get wet. The water was gross. They all smelled like pond scum when they got out. A year and a half of severe drought will do that to a river.

This girl will soon be locked up in a dragon guarded castle, her father informs me. Or at least a shot gun guarded four bedroom.

This girl will FINALLY be getting the speech therapy she needs. Three times a week with much homework. We are praying for some quick progress. We are all getting frustrated, especially her. Isn't she cute. Her swimming suit matched the broken eggs all over the ground.

This guy wanted to go fishing instead....

This guy has rickets. So when we got there, I took off his shirt and told him to make some vitamin D. When I snapped this picture I asked him if he was making vitamin D like I told him to. He replied, "No, I'm picking up rocks." In such a tone, as to say, "Duh mom, clearly I am picking up rocks."

That's what he did the whole time...pick up rocks...throw rocks...repeat.

I'm pretty sure he made some vitamin D too.

I didn't get a good picture of the other guy. This nearly fourteen year old would have rather been someplace other than a stinky dried up river...no place in particular...just someplace else. Hence the lack of a flattering picture. He's a good guy though...no complaining. He just sat back and enjoyed the view.

Kiss My face

Fun Kiss My Face giveaway...details can be found here. Good stuff.

Memorial Box Monday

I love reading this blog. Not just because she is a fellow Uganda mama, although that is why I started reading her story to begin with. I am continually blessed by her faith and her love for Jesus. So I read. Every Monday she writes a memorial box Monday post. Their family has a memorial box, in which they place items that specifically remind them of God's faithfulness in their lives. On Monday's she has been writing about the items in their box. Starting today, I am going to be doing the same. It is so important to remember and look back upon God's faithfulness to us. In both the small and large things He remains faithful. Remembering His past faithfulness is an encouragement for us during current trials. Calling them to mind, will hopefully, for me, make me more aware of His every day faithfulness.



Memorial Box Monday



Our last week in Uganda I got sick. REALLY sick. I was infected with a drug resistant strain of Malaria. Despite the fact that I had taken Malerone and covered myself from head to toe in off everyday. I ended up in the hospital for iv treatment. While there, I also came down with amoebic dysentery. Not a pleasant experience in and of itself...coupled with Malaria, it was brutal. As I was waiting for Richard to come back from the embassy, so I could finally get back to our guest house, I was praying. I was lamenting to the Lord that I really wished I had brought some good probiotics with me. I was certain that if I could just have some probiotics I would feel so much better. Knowing full well that I wasn't going to find anything like that in Uganda, I looked forward to being home in four days, so I could have some. Hoping that my stomach would then be able to mend. We returned to the guest house and a missionary team had just arrived from the states. One of the team members, Harriet, said to me, "I brought some probiotics with me, I think they would really help you. Would you be willing to take some?" Would I be willing? Every time I think of her, which is quite often, I thank God for using her. I didn't even have the faith to ask the Lord for them, just complain to Him about my lack of forethought and planning. He saw fit to bless me, and remind me yet again of His love. He knew I was going to get sick. He knew what I was going to need. He knew I would lack the faith to ask. He knew He would bring me some all the way from Pennsylvania. He knew, at that very moment, I was going to feel so unbelievably loved by my Savior.

That is why when we finally get our memorial box, it will contain porbiotics.

One Freakin' Out Mama

The day we arrived in Uganda, we learned that our judge assignment had been changed. I quickly thought to my self, "No problem...not a big deal." Then we were told that the judge we had been assigned to, had just begun a month long vacation that day. Not good. I am such a worse case scenario kind of gal, so at this point I'm thinking, we will in fact be in Uganda forever, and by the time I see my children at home they will be grown with children of their own. OK, so that's not exactly worst case scenario...as it is completely unrealistic, but I wasn't hopeful for a good outcome.

This my fellow adoptive mommies (and daddies) is Africa. The only thing you can expect in Africa is the unexpected. NOTHING will go as planned. Well, like we have it planned anyway...it ALWAYS goes the way the Lord plans.

Thus began our first week in Uganda. Fast forward over the weekend to Monday. Our court hearing is scheduled for Monday morning. Our newly assigned judge has agreed to work over her vacation, and hear our case. We breathe a great big sigh of relief when she shows up, on time, Monday morning.

I must say our judge was wonderful...and I'm not just saying that because I know (well I am pretty darn sure) the Ugandan g*vernment regularly reads this blog. She really did a wonderful job. She took time over her vacation to work to get us all the paperwork that was needed. We received both our court order and ruling quickly. I can honestly say we had no complaints whatsoever about our judge or the job she did. We are greatful for work she did, and continues to do for the children of Uganda.

We head back to Jinja that afternoon, everyone very happy with the outcome of the happenings of the day. I however am beginning to experience this vague sense of panic. At least it feels like panic. It really is a feeling I had never had before. Looking back, I think it was a combination of several factors...

• Jet Lag
• Culture Shock
• Giardia
• PMS (yes that's right, I wrote that..because let's be serious this can be a MAJOR problem for us gals)
• Having a full grasp of how far out of MY control things were
• Already missing my children at home, and knowing we had only just began
• The constant and nagging thought of not knowing when this would all be over
• Mostly, I think it was PMS cause it mysteriously went away after a couple of days :)

Monday night was going to be the first night William and Marissa stayed with us. They were thrilled...Richard was thrilled...I was scared to death. It was similar to the feeling I had while pregnant with Grace. I was sitting in the hospital holding my friend's new born, thinking to myself, "Dear God what have we done?" Here I was a gazillion miles away from home (have I mentioned how much of a home body I am?) at the mercy of a foreign government, with these two children....who are supposed to be mine. I kept telling myself, "I want this. I have worked for this. I want them. I love them. I can do this." Like a chant over and over again in my mind. In the moment I was fine. If I, even for a split second, looked into the next days and weeks, I became so completely and utterly overwhelmed, all I could do was cry.

While I am repeating to myself, "I want this. I have worked for this. I want them. I love them. I can do this." The enemy of my soul was screaming, "This isn't what you wanted. You can't do this. Go home." There was a war going on within me, like nothing I have ever experienced before.

"We fight not against flesh and blood, but princes and pricipalities."

Up until this point, I feel I am winning the battle.

Then we got William and Marissa ready for bed.

We took off William clothes, and for the first time saw how absolutely tiny he was. I couldn't breathe. This one thing, this one small and insignificant thing, totally sent me off the edge. All at once my thoughts changed to the enemy's. "This isn't what I wanted. I can't handle this. I can't mother these children, they need more than I can give them. I have to get out of here."

Richard, ever a rock, was dealing with me as he usually does. He would tell me that I could do this, and that this is what we wanted. He told me leaving was not, nor would it ever become an option. These were our children and we would do whatever it took, for as long as it took, to bring them home. I thank God for my husband, for a multitude of reasons, but the fact that he would not let me walk away is one I am most thankful for. I'm not sure he had ever seen me in such a state of panic, but he knew me well enough to know that I loved these children, and that I only need a few days to regroup and focus.

Sure enough a few days later, I knew there was no way I would ever leave my children. I would just as soon die, then walk away from them.

Nevertheless, I still experienced a prolonged period of "post adoption depression." This often ignored, and not spoken of, aspect of adoption hit me fairly hard. I don't know what makes some people more prone to this than others, but it is a very real aspect of adoption. Just like postpartum depression is a very real aspect of giving birth. It doesn't happen to everyone, but when it does happen, the feelings experienced, leave a mother feeling guilty and alone. It's not about whether or not you love the child...you do. At least I did. There was just this...emotional fog.

So in coming posts I hope to write more about it. In hopes that other mama's will know they are not alone. While you probably will not ever hear (read) me telling intimate details about my children and their past, I do want to have an open and honest dialog about adoption. My experience during adoption. Not just the lovely, yummy parts (of which there are many) but also the difficult parts. The purpose of this blog is to encourage others in this process. I really feel, when we only tell each other how great things are, we not only deprive each other, but miss out on showing the world how GOD redeems and heals. When people read blog after blog and story after story of all the feel good aspects of adoption and never hear any of the struggles...what happens when they have struggles of their own? My fear is that those parents may think they are in the minority, that something is wrong with them...their family. I fear some may think they might have made the wrong choice. My hope is that we will all realize that we are weak, but HE is strong. That He will give us the strength to do all things. That He called us to adopt, which will have bountiful blessings...and moments of struggle. I pray we will all realize that those difficulties do not put us in a minority....just a SILENT majority.

And the Winner Is

Thank you so much for all of you who donated to the Gaunt family's adoption fund. Through your generous gifts $1,135 was raised to help this family bring their children home!

I emailed all the names over to Keltie this morning so they could do the drawing for the winner of the ipod touch. So with out further ado, it is my pleasure to announce the winner of the ipod touch.


Drum roll please......


And the winner is: Deanna L.

If you remember correctly there was also to be a drawing for a book, for those who helped to promote the fundraiser on their blog or facebook page. Well, only one person emailed to let me know that it was on her blog. Well, actually she left it in a comment. I did however see it on a few others...because I read their blogs. All of these people KNOW I read their blogs, so I am going to ASSUME they thought I would see it up there, and therefore did not feel the need to let me know. So I went ahead and placed their name in the drawing too...just cause I am nice like that....and the winner of the book "There is No Me Without You" is.......

April from www.pembertonevansonline.blogspot.com

Congratulations April, you can email me your address at burpeefamily@yahoo.com so I can get this book out to you.

Thanks again to all of you who helped to make this happen. Please continue to lift the Gaunt family up in prayer as they are still a long way from their goal.