Not Me Monday

Ah, Monday. That time of the week when I can with all dishonesty tell you things I didn't do, thanks to Mckmama and her brilliant idea of Not Me Monday.

Today it will be difficult to come up with anything too shocking...because I was nearly perfect in all ways this last week.

I did, after all manage, over the last two weeks, to make it to 12 doctors appointments, four blood draws, two x-rays, and one sonogram with out having to restrain myself from someones incompetence. Not even that pediatrician, who repeatedly grilled me about my sons public school status. After all, it is perfectly reasonable to ask me no less than three times, why my son, who just turned five at the end of November, is not enrolled in the "public school system" as she called it. This of course is a reasonable question, because he is actually old enough to attend school...not based on his age, but based on the fact that he is clearly a genius. This was also a reasonable question because the answer to this question has everything to do with why he is not gaining any weight. So naturally, I would never loose my temper just a bit by reminding her that you have to be five by August to attend the "public school system" here in Texas...that means he doesn't qualify. I would also not mention that it probably wouldn't be in his best interest considering he had only been home for two and a half months when school started. I would of course expect her to know how important attachment is.

When the Wii Olympics were held at our home Saturday, I was thrilled when my five year old son beat me...significantly...during the ski competition. I do after all have a level of maturity that goes way beyond getting miffed when beaten by a small child. I obviously knew in advance this game would be incredibly sanctifying for me...that is of course why I wanted it.

My sweet daughter, Grace, bless her heart. After I pulled out what appeared to be a grey hair, she would know in advance how traumatizing this might be to a girl, so she would choose her words carefully. Therefore, she would never say, "If you pulled out all your grey hairs, you wouldn't have very much hair left." When I looked at her in shock, she would immediately realize the error of her ways. She is after all well trained. So she would laugh and say, "I meant to say you wouldn't have to pull out very many hairs." That is of course what she meant to say, because I don't have very many grey hairs at all...they are just really blond. Really.