Saturday, November 15, 2008

Banquets, Snoring, and Spiders

Thursday was the annual fundraising banquet for our local crisis pregnancy center. It was a lovely event that gave my beloved and I a chance to get gussied up and go on a date. I must say that I have been to a few of these over the last several years, and this one was by far the best. There was great catering, a wonderful testimony from a client, and a speaker that doesn't just speak a pro-life message...he lives it. It was a powerful night and by the grace of God they raised nearly $20,000 MORE than they were hoping for. Here is a picture of me and my beloved, before we left for the big event.

We clean up real nice. Don't we make a lovely couple?

Can we talk about snoring? Seriously people...I LOVE my husband, but a girl can only take so much. I MUST have my sleep you know. Anyway, when ever so gently nudging, him did not stop the noise, I finally got up and moved toward the sofa. Surely peaceful sleep would find me there...right? So honestly, what is worse...a snoring beloved...or ALL THREE smoke detectors beeping due to low battery. Seriously, I was on the brink of insanity. What is the only logical thing to do? Remove all the batteries from the smoke detectors, of course. Really, what are the odds we would have a fire on the night I decide to remove all the fire alarms? (Breathe easy...there was no fire) Snuggled up, in a now quiet room, on a very uncomfortable couch, I finally fall fast asleep. I wake up looking like this.

Bitten, by a spider...on my EYE!!!! Um, have I mentioned how much I dislike arachnids? So my sweet beloved, takes me to the clinic for some medical care. The doctor walks in, looks at me, and says, "Oh, that's not good." Over the course of twenty minutes with her she tells me no less than seven times, "If this gets any worse go to the emergency room, right away." Worse? It's going to get worse? Now I am a worse case scenario kind of gal, so I am thinking brown recluse. I'm loosing my eye for sure, maybe half my face. I was wondering if Richard was going to be able to handle a wife with half a face. Then there was William. I am not sure exactly what he was thinking, but a look of fear came across his face each time he looked at me. I think he was afraid I was contagious. Everyone else, including my ever so dear and faithful friends, just had a good laugh.

Is this what I get for sleeping on the couch? Really, the snoring was bad. I needed to sleep.

Rest assured the steroids and the antibiotics are doing their job, and now I just look like I have a lazy and droopy eye. I still hate really creeps me out that one was on me. It bit me. Do I now have spider DNA? Am I going to turn into spider woman? Now that is the ultimate nightmare. To turn into what I fear most. EWWW.

My beloved would like for me to add the following disclaimer: "I have really bad allergies, it is not my fault I was snoring. Have mercy on me. Besides, if I can put up with the ever so gentle nudging, she ought to be able to put with the snoring."


Gaunt Family said...

Ah, date nights are something to be treasured in these child-rearing years, aren't they? Glad you could go out and have a good time, esepcially for a good cause. Sorry about the eye...I forgot you live somewhere warm. I guarantee that if you moved to northern Canada you would never ever have a spider bite in November! Frost bite is way more likely...:-)

Christine said...

Ouch. I am so sorry. That does look painful. Please post an updated picture so we know that you are okay.

Molly Beth said...

I am laughing quite loud myself as I see your picture and read your "half a face" fear. You are a hoot! Glad you are healing well now.

Janet said...

Oh, I am laughing, I can't help it. Spiders are actually very important to our eco-systems. :-)

PS- There is no excuse for snoring.

PPS- Keltie is right. In Canada, we don't have such weird spider issues. Just polar bears. Ha ha!

Scott and Erin said...

Melissa, this is so weird, but I just woke up with a swollen and itchy face, like right under my chin, and the first thing i thought was, "O my word, this JUST happened to someone i know in blogland!" I'm almost positive it's a spider bite. And i find it very comforting right now to know that your airway did not swell shut. :)

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