Thursday, November 6, 2008


This is a subject that has been on my heart for quite some time now. I think about it off and on, and I repeatedly ask God when He will move on the hearts of His people. I don't in anyway want this post to come off as please don't take it that way. This is just something the Lord is teaching me and I want to write about there :) It is just that this post, brought it to the front of my mind yet again.

Why do people adopt children? I am sure that there are varied reasons as to why families want to open there homes to orphaned and most often hurting children. I know that one of the main reasons is a desire to expand ones family. I would never say that this is a wrong or less wonderful reason for adoption. It is in fact why we adopted. When we began this adventure, that was our sole reason. We wanted more children, and couldn't have them. For some, they long for the laughter of children in their too quiet lives, so they pursue adoption. It is indeed a wonderful and blessing filled way to grow a family.

Over the course of this adoption, the Lord has opened our heart to His, on the plight of the orphan. By the time we left for Uganda, we still wanted to have the blessing of more children, but there was no doubt that this was now something more for us. It has been said by many in the adoption world, that one should never adopt just to "save" a child. This is true on many levels, for instance we really cannot save a child from anything, that is a responsibility for God alone. I understand the message behind this to some degree, but mostly I don't understand it all.

Could it possibly be wrong to open our homes to children to protect them from the kind of terrible abuse the two in the blog post endured? Is it wrong to want to free them from their prison of abuse and despair?

Could it possibly be wrong to open our homes so that children can have the much needed necessities of life. Food, clean water, shelter, clothing? Have we stopped to consider, particularly in foreign countries, that the children might die of starvation unless they are brought into families. Have we thought about the young girls who most likely will end up on the streets, selling their bodies to have daily bread?

What about illness and disease? Is it wrong to want to open our homes to sick children, so that they might have the medical care that they need to live?

Could it possibly be wrong to open our homes to children so that they might know the safety and love that comes from family?

Would not all the reasons be Biblical reasons to open our homes to children?

I would say they are all viable, good, and God honoring reasons for adoption, I think the Lord agrees.

Matthew 25: 34-40 NIV
34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.

When I read the above mentioned blog post my heart broke. My heart broke for the family that has to make this heart wrenching decision. My heart broke for the children who have suffered so terribly. My heart broke because I know that MOST people looking to adopt are looking to build a family...and not help build up hurting children. Therefore, most of the people will look at these children and realize, with young children already in the home, they cannot open their home to these precious children. Oh, I cannot tell you how often I cry, "Lord please open the hearts of your people, don't let your children suffer any more."

You see, I adopted to build my family. I am so thankful for the inability to have more bio they children, because it has brought me two amazing blessings. However, I want to make it perfectly clear, that if we ever have the blessing of adopting again it will be to "save a child." Yes, we will be overwhelmingly excited to add more children to our family, but even more, I will be profoundly awed at the ability to serve Jesus in such a way.

It is my prayer that the Lord will move. That adoption will not be just a means of building a family....not because it is not a wonderful way of building a family...but because far too many people who don't want anymore children are missing out on serving Jesus. Too many people who feel their children rearing days are over, are missing the blessing of serving Jesus in this way. Too many children are missing out on the love, protection, and healing they so deserve.

I know full well it is not God's will that every person adopt, just like it is not God's will for all to be a missionary to China.

Should we not a least ask, "Lord, would you have us open our home?"

Should we not at least ask what He would have us to do?


Janet said...

Yes, we should ask that. Good post, M. :-)

Amy and Amelia AiChun said...

YES!!! This is exactly the same journey of spirit and sentiment that I have been on. It's so hard not to be judgmental, and yet, like you, I don't believe everyone is called to adopt. Still, I have said many times to other believers "you may not be called to adopt, but how will you know unless you at least ASK the Father?!" Are we at least WILLING? Great post.

Christine said...

Hi. I am the writer of that post you linked to. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I would love to link to this post if you leave me a comment. These children are still in need of a home and can be adopted separately.

Anonymous said...

Hi! I'm enjoying your blog, but as I have an eye disorder, it is very hard to read with the font and background not contrasting so much (the blue and brown), and the pretty design on the side cutting into the text. Is there a way for me to read your blog with a stronger contrast and no graphics behind the text? I'm new to reading blogs so I don't know if this is possible.I don't want to miss out, but my vision problem makes reading your blog very difficult. Thanks! God bless!

Melissa said...

Yep, it was hard for me to read as well. I was planning on changing it...I just hadn't had the time yet. Thanks for letting me know, and I hope it is easier for you to see now. Blessings to you!

Amy said...

Thank you so much for keeping this blog (and for commenting on mine so I could find it). I enjoyed reading your adoption posts so much. I especially loved reading about how God provided for your adoption, which is one thing I am really struggling with. Given all that we have been through trust is so hard for me right now, but I know God is good. I appreciate seeing him work in your journey.

Melissa Carter said...

Great post Melissa. it is well spoken. I am going to link this post if you don't mind. That is the journey we started on. But God took us on a deeper one to fulfill his purposes.

Phil S. said...

I agree, 100%. God said, "Pure religion and undefiled before God & the Father is this: to visit the FATHERLESS and widows in their distress..." James 1:27 I blog elsewhere, and we are just starting the adoption process. Feel free to check out our decision here:
Once you get a burden like this, you just have to share it with others!